No way

Him: "I beg your pardon... but I'm not sure I got it right: would you rather it with or without condom".
Me: "Only way is "with", my dear, unless you're out for a quick shag and would be happy with no getting anything near inside me".
Him: "I'm all but out for quick things, I'm the "hard and long lasting" kind, but only and exclusively "without". How can we sort this out".

Simple: you go your way, I'll go mine.

I'm good at standing delusions, no problem.