Restrain...

Hold on. Restrain. Temperance. Resistence. Anything that will keep me from getting down to looking for men would do.

Yet, the world aroudn me is so full of occasions, an email, a quest, that brings me again on "that" email account I decided not to read anymore, where I know people looks for me.
I'm even not using the IM, no kind of IM except for Facebook, where no duplicity is allowed.
As a matter of fact what I'm trying to do actually IS trying to remove any trace of... well, as much trace of duplicity I can afford to from life.

Keep going, man. Keep going...

Resilience

Am I bouncing back? I kind of feels I might be; I epilated, this morning. And I enjoyed it. Every part of it. The mousse on my butts, me massagging it, then scrubbing with the glove to remove the hair and finally the water flowing down on my now soft, hairless, skin, increasing by twofolds the feeling of water flowing.
And since I have to wear pants not made of lycra when I remove hair, I went for a pair of cotton boxer, but they were so worn out (I'm the nostalgic kind, even with robes...) I had to (keep saying that and you may start believing it), I had to pick one pair of those sexy female underwear I have in the last, small drawer on the right. I picked the simplest one, a black cotton brasilian tanga with no lace, no frills, not even a g-string. I thought it to be decent enough and... well, safe.

Well, it is not.
I like how it constrains by dick, and I can feel the fabric on my buttocks and, when I peed a few moments ago, I looked at my image in the mirror, and I lingered for a moment on the thought that Marco loved me wearing this robe...

Only a moment.
But, yes, I hesitated.

I will resist, but is it that the aim? Resisting? Nobody can "resist" for ever. I need an alternative, that's it.

What...?

I don't understand what the hell is going on: I kinda feel "locked in"...






-- Post From My iPhone

Enough.

When does enough is enough?
Is it when you have sex every night with a different guy (or trans) around the city where you are when you're not at home? Is it when you get laid by two men coming for vacation near your work place at lunch, then get fucked by you "usual fucker" for dinner, then stay at one far-away-lover's house for four nights because your job brought you there and have sex with him any time and any like he wishes (and he's got plenty of wishes)? And you almost have sex with one of your previous girl friend - the naughtiest one at sex - and are only saved by her present lover and his present religious beliefs but don't hesitate on being the sexual mate of the night guardian of an hotel in another city?
Is it then?
Or is it when your best man - and dear friend - who gave you hospitality for one night because your job brought you to travel near by and you two don't drink a beer together that much often so you decide you'd stay (and miss a peek at that wonderful SPA in the city near by), at morning reaches for your exposed, naked, hairless butt, you feel your body reacting, and you then just realise you would accept his cock fucking you hard. That you actually would want that.

Yes.
That's when. When enough is enough.

I didn't enter GayRomeo anymore since then. I didn't enter MSN with my sex-oriented profile neither. I did quit on wearing feminine underwear (except for running...). I didn't use my dildo since. I didn't got laid since, neither.


(on a side note, the guy just wanted to feel what would have been like to stroke another man's cock and have it cum, and did know I would have been one man that would have understood the request.
But he never admitted his cock and his hand enjoyed rubbing my butt and I never insisted on that).